Kevin Bacon Pays Weddings DJs Not to Play 'Footloose' | Cracked.com

Bacon Warns DJs: The Awkward Wedding Song That'll Make Guests Go Home Early

Kevin Bacon Pays Weddings DJs Not to Play 'Footloose' | Cracked.com

Published March 10, 2025 at 8:03 pm | Reading Time: 3 minutes

The Awkward Wedding Song That'll Make Guests Go Home Early: Bacon Warns DJs

When it comes to wedding playlists, few topics are as contentious as the age-old debate over the most effective and entertaining songs to get guests on the dance floor. One song that consistently ranks near the top of worst-case lists is undoubtedly "Bacon." This abrasive, noise-filled anthem has been dubbed a "wedding song nightmare" by many, and for good reason. In this article, we'll delve into the world of wedding playlists and explore the phenomenon of "Bacon" and why it's an error to play it at your special day.

Understanding the Concept of "Bacon"

For those unfamiliar with the concept of "Bacon," it's worth noting that this term refers to a deliberately loud, abrasive, and unpleasant noise that is often used to mock or deter unwanted activities. In the context of wedding playlists, "Bacon" has taken on a life of its own, becoming a pejorative term for any song that's considered an embarrassment or an affront to good taste. In other words, if a song is considered too loud, too obnoxious, or too likely to induce nausea or discomfort, it's fair game to label it "Bacon."

The Psychology of Wedding Guest Behavior

From a psychological perspective, the phenomenon of "Bacon" can be seen as a manifestation of the fundamental human desire to escape unpleasant or uncomfortable situations. When guests are forced to endure subpar music or an otherwise miserable atmosphere, they may feel compelled to leave in search of more enjoyable or comforting environments. By avoiding the "Bacon" song altogether, DJs and event planners can create a more positive and enjoyable atmosphere that encourages guests to stay and celebrate.

Why "Bacon" Should Be Avoided at All Costs

When it comes to wedding playlists, there are many songs that can be enjoyable and engaging for guests. However, "Bacon" is consistently ranked as one of the worst offenders, and for good reason. This song is simply too loud and abrasive, making it impossible for guests to enjoy themselves or even stand for more than a few seconds without suffering discomfort. In fact, studies have shown that exposure to loud noises like "Bacon" can even trigger physical responses like nausea and anxiety in some individuals.

Characteristics of a "Bacon" Song

So, what makes a song a "Bacon" song? While opinions may vary, there are a few key characteristics that are commonly associated with these ear-piercing anthems. These include:

  • Loudness: "Bacon" songs are consistently the loudest on any wedding playlist, often exceeding 110 decibels and pushing the limits of human tolerance.
  • Dissonance: These songs frequently feature dissonant harmonies and melodies that are intentionally unpleasant and jarring.
  • Lack of Structure: "Bacon" songs often lack a clear structure or melody, instead relying on sheer volume and noise to carry the day.

Real-Life Examples of "Bacon" Songs

Fortunately, there are few songs that are universally considered to be "Bacon." However, some examples that have been known to trigger "Bacon" warnings include:

  • "Elastic Elf" by Modern Business (1980)
  • "Bonipiriwa" by Jen Son (2004)
  • "T-T-Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" by Bern Hardy (1970)

The Importance of Wedding Playlist Variety

While avoiding "Bacon" songs is essential for creating a positive and enjoyable atmosphere, it's equally important to ensure that the playlist is diverse and engaging. Here are a few tips for creating a well-rounded and enjoyable wedding playlist:

  • Diversify the genres: Mix and match different genres, such as pop, rock, hip-hop, and electronic music, to cater to a wide range of tastes and preferences.
  • Consider the audience: Think about the age, interests, and preferences of your guests and tailor the playlist accordingly.
  • Keep it fresh: Update the playlist regularly to reflect current trends and hits, and avoid over-reliance on nostalgic or old-school favorites.

The Role of DJs in Avoiding "Bacon" Songs

As DJs and event planners, you have a critical role to play in avoiding "Bacon" songs and creating a positive and enjoyable atmosphere for your guests. Here are a few tips for success:

  • Get to know your audience: Take the time to talk to your guests and learn about their musical preferences and tastes.
  • Create a playlist that reflects their interests: Use this knowledge to curate a playlist that caters to their tastes and preferences.
  • Keep the energy level low: Aim for a playlist that's consistently mid-tempo and enjoyable, avoiding the loud and jarring sounds of "Bacon" songs.

By following these tips and avoiding "Bacon" songs altogether, you can create a positive and enjoyable atmosphere that encourages guests to stay and celebrate your special day. Remember, the key to a successful wedding playlist is diversity, variety, and a deep understanding of your audience's musical preferences.

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